The clapping did not stop. The applause was deafening. The cheers thundered in the arena that held sixty thousand people who were now on their feet in a rabid frenzy of adoration.

They loved him. Every last one of them -and the millions watching him from the comfort of their homes- was crazy about him. Oh, they worshipped him. It was intoxicating.

The approval of millions did not come cheap but it was worth every sacrifice he had made. Almost. Nothing compared to this feeling. As he stood dwarfed by the enormous stage with his face magnified on a million screens all over the world, he felt both miniscule and colossal at the same time.

He made a show of kissing his guitar before he banged it on the floor, shattering it, then pouring gasoline on it and setting it on fire. And the crowd went wild. It did not matter what he did, the crowd loved him. A smile from his face was enough to make them lose it. He loved his fans.

He could not believe the effect he had on the crowd. He lived for those four minutes that he got to perform his one song concert after concert.

Then they were over. And he had to take those steps backstage. Like a normal person. No longer a god. Away from his worshippers.

There was nothing like the feeling of he got on stage. The approval of millions could not even be bought with money. The way they followed his every move and listened to his every note in a cult-like obsession could not be bribed out of anyone.

In the dressing room, he found himself alone. He hated that song he had just sung. He hated the clothes he was wearing. In his opinion he looked ridiculous. As for breaking his guitar and setting it on fire? He hated that he had to carry out such blatant dramatics. Yet he had to.

He learnt to give the crowd what they want, so that they could give him what he needed. He was high on approval. His ratings were through the roof. That’s what he needed. Approval; better than money. A million hands clapping for him, appreciating him, acknowledging his worth.

Whenever he stepped on stage he had the approval of thousands. Even when he walked in the streets, the adoring fans made it clear that he was accepted and loved.

The slope had gotten slippery real fast. One day he was an artist with a message. The next he was carrying out meaningless dramatics to thrill a crowd. He hated who he had become. He even hated the people he associated with. His girlfriend? Which one? They were all an accessory to his image.

He missed the days where he could sing a song that he believed in regardless of who was listening. He missed the days when he did what he knew was right. He missed the days when he chose friends based on how well he liked him rather than what effect they would have on his career. He missed valuing his family’s opinion. Nowadays he didn’t care what they thought. He missed having a calling. Now he was just an entertainer. He missed praying for anything else other than his performance. He hadn’t cared enough about anyone in the last few years to get on his knees and say a prayer for them. He missed the Almighty. He missed worshipping the one God.

He fell to his knees. He had lost his way. He had it all but all but he had never felt so empty and so needy. He had never been more famous but he had also never felt so insignificant. He meant nothing. He was just a toy for amusing humanity. Approval was his addiction. He could do anything for the applause.

His life was one big concert. He was always performing. A concert life. Always led by the crowd’s opinion.

He wanted so desperately to say a prayer but the words failed him. He felt silly. He was scared. He was too afraid to be himself. Too afraid to lose his fans. Too afraid of not being loved by the faceless crowd.

He closed his eyes and remembered a time when he lived as he believed. A time when he could just be the person he needed to be without concerning himself with what others thought. A time he stood for what he knew and was fiercely loyal to his family.

A tear rolled down his cheek. He wanted so much to be free of seeking approval. But he couldn’t do it. The clapping had not stopped. The crowd was calling for an encore. They wanted him back on stage just one more time.

He got up, wiped that misplaced tear, stopped for a minute to look at the face of the man he once knew in the mirror backstage, and then ran back onto the stage and into the cruel arms of the faceless crowd.

Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Hebrews 12: 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.