In my mind’s eye I kept hoping that Fitzsimmons would catch a break. A huge break, a break as great as Job’s as recorded at the end of the book. On somedays i expect a Job like turn around, you know the big turnaround that will silence the naysayers once and for all. In the end I get it all though not necessarily in the way I had planned.
Say, I am an employee at firm X and I am unhappy. I work faithfully towards this promotion that seems elusive. I pray about it and leave it to God.
Somewhere along the way I decide to quit and set up my own practice. I venture fully out hoping that God will get the hint hehe. I land clients, a cocktail of good and difficult ones.
On somedays a few of my clients don’t settle their bills as agreed, on other days I land clients who pay upfront.
I have one employee who doubles as a receptionist/secretary/messenger. There are days she opts to work through her lunch break and there are days she leaves the office early to run a personal errand. On some days she comes to work pulsating with motivation and there are days she just isn’t in a talking mood.
All of this might look like am not catching a break while the truth that in this process am Learning responsibility; to take charge of not just myself but an employee. I am learning the ropes to private practice albeit not the easy way. I am honing the skill of negotiation even for almost mundane stuff like garbage collection (because in my calculation we can dispose our own garbage and save on the fees hehe).
I am coming to a new understanding of what it means to encourage myself when I have to a long list of debtors and an even longer list of bills to settle.
Ezekiel 36: 26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart’ stands out clearly when I encounter a client who was bent on revenge take the high road of forgiveness though it does little to help my weak cash flow.
It will not be as I expected but then I will get it. John 16:33 reminds me that
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
My respite shall be the knowledge that yes I will have trouble but in the Lord I will have peace.